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The East Enders

                                                          {forthcoming in MMM Vol. X.}

By John Jeffire


We were dumb about our stupidity,

broadcasting it, lime suspenders

Jacking up plaid polyester, calling

Card hucklebuck huckster dumbness.

We passed off flatulence for wit,

Bazooka Joe for wisdom,

Mastercard and VISA for security,

Lawn gnome for art,

Peroxide and mascara for beauty,

Crosswords for intellect,

Collection baskets for religion,

Light beer for discipline,

Mag wheels for status,

Stitches for respect,

Perfume for love,

T-bones for the good life.

We worked diligently at nothing

Anyone would remember or

Pay a decent wage for,

Proudly produced perishable goods,

Eagerly consumed generic or what

Could only be bought in bulk,

And openly mocked those fat-assed

Bigwigs who docked our pay and

Planned our daily obsolescence.

We wondered in earnest what dogs

Would say if they could talk,

Where doughnut holes went,

Who made God and the first catcher’s glove,

If the Incredible Hulk could whip Godzilla,

When exactly leisure suits went out of style,

Whether tomatoes were fruit or vegetable,

Why there was no number eleventy-leven.

Reflection for us was a split second

Revelation next to a nightclub urinal.

If we harmed anyone, it was ourselves

And we never felt a goddamned thing.