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LAMENT WRITTEN IN MY HIGH SCHOOL DIARY
WHEN I WAS TOO YOUNG TO UNDERSTAND

Janice Eidus


"Dear Diary, there is a deep demented part in me," I wrote,
when I was just a junior, so young I believed
my own words, believed that I'd been born a wild child,
a bad seed, tainted, spoiled, marked with a scarlet letter on my
chest.

"This part of me is so scary and demonic," I wrote in girlish
script, "it goes so deep, Dear Diary, it hurts so much. I ail," I
wrote, "and I shall never heal."

And now, coming across that sad lament,
I feel such sorrow for that girl,
that innocent, and I light a match,
watching as the diary is devoured by scarlet flames.


Janice Eidus is a novelist, essayist, short story writer, poet, and writing coach. Twice winner of the O.Henry Prize and a Pushcart Prize, she’s published numerous books, including the novels, The War Of The Rosens and The Last Jewish Virgin, and the story collection, The Celibacy Club. She lives in New York City and San Miguel de Allende, Mexico. Her web site is www.janiceeidus.com.

 


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